 Heart Throb. Poet. Salesman. Pariah. Genius. Philosopher. Celebrity. Dead Broke. I didn’t sniff you. |
I wanted to introduce myself because first of all the best dating sites charge too much money and want me to fill out a lot of surveys. I didn’t know there would be a test!
I am a man about town, especially when I miss my bus stop. I am also a mover and a shaker, but not because I have ParkerStevenson’s disease. To know me is to love me, I promise. I have very intimate knowledge of myself, and I love me! I don’t even require much food or beverage before I put out.
Wait, why are you laughing?
HOLLYWOOOD IS CALLING!
Well, at least I think it was Hollywood. I was in Los Angeles standing near some bearded guy's over-priced sports car and he started yelling and waving his arms at me like I was the next big industry heartthrob.
He shouted something about "never working in this town again" and since I don't want to be serving flavored coffee or bussing tables like all the other wish-they-were-actors here, I was sure he meant I was going to be a star!
Oddly enough, another over-dressed man with slicked back hair drove his expensive car up to me and threw me the keys, mentioning something about the "Valley" parking (he pronounced it wrong. These Hollywood guys!)